My plans burst the previous night, but I ventured into the wilds of Southern New Mexico anyway, to see what I could see. Even with every bit of necessary proof, my heart skipped a beat when I came across a citizenship verification checkpoint along highway 70. I reached for my wallet to present some ID, but the officer was just looking for a little verbal confirmation. With my accent pure from years of private education, I was able to answer him affirmatively, that I was, indeed, an American citizen, and despite my luscious beard, he let me through without any further conversation.

I arrived at the White Sands National Monument visitors center and purchased a $3 ticket to the park and a book of Ansel Adams’ National Park Photographs. I had vague plans of taking a hike through the desert, but even at 10am it was over 110 degrees outside, so I bagged that and simply sat on a dune, far enough from the screaming kids sledding on trashcan lids, and, in five minutes, got a moderate sunburn. Luckily I had already passed my American citizenship exam for the day.

Back on the road, I decided to stop at the Hi-d-ho drive-in in Alamogordo (pictured in the banner), so I could get a little more gordo. I had a green chili “tiger” burger, milkshake and fries. If only that border guard could see me in that moment he would salute me with a tear streaming down his sun-baked cheek.

My next stop was Carlsbad Caverns, which is quite possibly the coolest place on earth, especially when you compare the temperature below ground (56) to the temperature above (112). I walked around 3 of the hundreds of miles of underground caves. At one point, millions of years ago, the caverns were under the ocean, and the amazing decorations, as they call them, were formed by mineral deposits, much like corral reefs (disclaimer: I am an idiot when it comes to science so feel free to correct me). The one thing I’m sure I learned is that stalagmites thrust mightily from the earth, while stalactites cling tightly to the ceiling. Anyway this place is really incredible and worth taking a trip to if you find yourself within a day’s journey of Carlsbad, NM.

I drove until sunset and found myself in Fort Stockton, TX. That’s about all I have to say about Fort Stockton, TX. At least the Super 8 had a room with a treadmill so I could work off a little bit of the hi-d-ho.